Five of Wands

The Five of Wands usually points towards conflict, whether it's conflicting emotions or arguments, but not anything that is too serious. When I pull this card, in most instances it's a reminder for my clients to make sure they are staying away from anything that brings about conflict.

Sometimes conflict is unavoidable, but there are ways for you to detach from it in order to maintain your sanity. Perhaps you are working with a petty coworker, who gossips or complains a lot, or nitpicks your work.

When people act that way, they are working from a lower vibration and if you aren't careful, you can be brought down to this level. I have a lot of clients usually complaining about this, and wondering what they should do to deal with it. I always tell them an African proverb, “The lion doesn't turn around when a small dog barks." You know which animal persona you need to adopt in this scenario.

Sometimes we get in petty conflicts with our romantic partners too. There was this great essay in the "Modern Love" column in the New York Times by a woman who felt like she was falling out of love with her spouse because all of his annoying habits started adding up, like not doing the dishes or the laundry, or leaving things everywhere in the house.

At the time, she was researching how animal trainers train animals. What she learned was that instead of scolding animals for bad behavior, the trainers just reinforced the good behavior with rewards. She tried this tactic when dealing with her spouse, and it worked. The more she rewarded him for doing the smallest thing, with a compliment or some other form of positivity, the more his habits changed.

Not that we should look at our partners like zoo animals, but it is true that we all like feeling good, as opposed to feeling bad. Of course we are going to do what is necessary to maintain the good feeling.

It's also the law of attraction: the more you focus on the good, the more things shift to bring about more good. The more you nitpick the negative, the more that will overwhelm you.

So choose your battles wisely.