The Devil

The Devil can stand for any number of things. Many of them are negative, like obsession, codependency, workaholism, addiction, and maybe just residual anger or toxic emotions from an unpleasant situation.

All of these things come down to a lack of balance. If some of you are struggling with some form of addiction, and are overwhelmed about the long-term effort of sustaining yourself in the scheme of things, first focus on wanting to change. Take everything one step at a time, one day at a time.

Get the help you need and surround yourself with the positive reinforcements necessary to help you succeed. Also remove yourself from the people and situations that will hold you back. Again, this takes work and doesn't always feel amazing, but it's the most worthwhile work you'll ever put into yourself in the long run.

Obsession can also take many forms. Perhaps you are wondering too much about an ex or too much about a person you are with. Much like codependency, these feelings come from a disconnectedness with the self. Getting knocked out of our center because of romantic interactions happens to the best of us. It is up to us to make sure we are carving out the time to remember who we are and what our personal goals are, and to ask ourselves if the objects of our desire are people who we are deeply connecting with, or just the object of high infatuation. True connectedness feels balanced.

If you are focusing on your ex, remember that what they are doing is none of your business, no matter how curious you are. It is not serving you. And if you are holding onto anger about them, it's time to figure out how to release it. Typically, we hold onto anger because we don't like to deal with the pain of reality. We don't like being rejected, we don't like being treated terribly, but the more we mull this over in our minds, the more we are continuing to harm ourselves while ignoring our well-being and not building our future.

Those who hurt others are usually hurting inside themselves. This does not mean that you need to accommodate another's pain and try to convince them to heal so that they will treat you better. It is their job to heal themselves. However, in identifying the unhealthy habits of others, we can choose to know that we ourselves would never do that, that it does NOT work for us, and that it is now OUR job to focus on seeking out what is healthy for our individual selves to heal (and allow liberal time for that) and to also seek out healthier situations in the future.

Forgiveness is a difficult thing, but it helps with letting these feelings go. You do not need to forgive the person to their face, or the person at all, but the situation. And this is for yourself, not the other person. To be able to reach a point of detachment and see why a person acts like they act, realizing you are a higher being, and to not take things personally, requires time and maintenance but allows you to focus on the areas of your life that you want to flourish instead. When you focus on your own wholeness and the newness of what's next, the negativity of the past starts to dissipate.

As for codependency, if you find yourself overly reliant on your partner for your own happiness, you are stunting your own growth. Seeking out happiness through another person is the least stable bet you can make. People change, people grow, people drift. To detox a relationship where you feel you may becoming codependent, be sure you remember your own life goals. Nobody else makes you whole but you and other people are just an added bonus. This way your happiness is not staked on anyone else. If you find yourself saying “I need this person," then try to step back and re-evaluate. Get some space so you can clear your energy and remember yourself. Sometimes this is hard.

Maybe you are afraid of being alone, but the more time you take to incrementally build yourself up, the more stable you are to be in a healthy relationship where you can cultivate a solid, deep, true connection, one that doesn't rely on a physical relationship or infatuation to succeed. Prioritize a healthy sense of self here. Meditation is a great tool to start with, because when you regularly practice it, it will help eradicate the negative tendencies you have. Again, these tendencies happen to the best of us.

If you are in an unhappy relationship with a codependent person, but you don't quite want to leave, nudge them in the direction of remembering what they need to do to help their own lives evolve, but don't lose yourself in doing so. Ask for space if you need it, but be compassionate about asking. When you compassionately take space, you might inspire them to do the same. If they do not take well to this, then ask yourself if you should move on without them. Start gradually taking more space for yourself anyway, and separate. Do not martyr yourself in these situations, because you will lose your own sense of self, and you aren't doing them any favors, because they deserve to learn what their own self-worth is, to know their own individual strength and power. These are things you can't learn walking beside someone else. You must be on your own.

If this card comes up to indicate that you've become a workaholic, make sure that you learn to take breaks and that you don't forget life outside of work. This will help you avoid burnout and remind you how important it is to nourish your soul. Don't get so depleted that you are relying on the work to feel whole.