© Mackon | Dreamstime.com
I Heard A Voice Say, “You Need To Buy A New Music CD!”
As I remember, it was the month of January when my guides told me to go buy a new music CD. I wondered why, since I had just bought new CDs.
But my guides continued to prompt me daily until I went back to the store to take another look at the CDs.
Strangely, I was not told what to buy, and, left in the dark; I had to solve this mystery by myself.
In the past, I had ignored messages from my guides and always suffered in consequence, so this time I listened and went back to the store to browse through the CDs until I stumbled upon the answer.
My only clue was to search the new releases since I had just bought CDs recently. I searched and finally came across a new release called Awake by Josh Groban, and I felt this was the CD I needed to buy.
I bought the CD, an odd selection since I usually tend toward Country music. I looked through all the song titles and saw one called, “February Song.” I sensed that I should listen to this song because my guides usually warns me before an event occurs in my life.
I listened to “February Song” which depicts winter and the depression and sadness of a man’s thoughts. It sings of February, the most brutally cold month of the year, a time of snow and short days.
The man in the song strives heroically to cope with his sad thoughts, knowing that his pain will eventually recede, and healing will return him to himself again: “When all that I know is lost and found, I promise you I’ll come back to you one day. . .Tell him it won’t be long till he opens his eyes.”
He feels lost in the past and realizes that he can’t give people what they need during his crisis. Feeling as though he has slipped into the abyss, he implores, “Forgive me if I slip away.”
Though he regrets the way he feels, he is lost and must seek solitude to find his way. Yet he knows he has the necessities of happiness, the support of his loving family and friends.
As he says in the lyrics, “Morning is waking up, and sometimes it’s more than just enough, when all you need to love is in front of your eyes.” In other words, all those who care about him are there for him through these travails, but the tumult of his emotions drags him astray and holds him hostage.
He wants to understand why he had to go through this ordeal and feels the searing pain he endured while seeking his path has stunted his growth, making adjustments difficult.
The lyrics say, “Sometimes it’s hard to find the ground, cause I keep on falling as I try to get away from this crazy world.” He tries to flee his current world as his clinging to the past sickens him with nostalgia.
He evaluates his life with the full knowledge that he will heal: “Where is that simple day, before colors broke into shades? And how did I ever fade into this life?”
This is a man trying to learn from his painful experiences and transcend the walls that imprison him in the past.
I feel this song is a cry to all his loved ones that have supported him, telling them to “Be patient with me, I am trying the best I can to find myself, and I promise you that it won’t be long until I open my eyes and feel AWAKE again.”
In short, he promises to return.
One cold and rainy February night, I was eating dinner at my mother’s house after work, wishing for a sunny day, and we started talking about an old friend that I had not seen since a year ago when he rented a room for about three months during the time of his divorce.
My mother said that I would probably never hear from him again because he had a long healing to go through.
I said, “Mom, I have this feeling that he is going to show up again!” She said she did not think so, but when I went home that night, there was a message from him on the answering machine.
We talked, and he came over to visit. He looked better and told me that every time he passed my exit on the freeway, he wanted to stop by, but I saw that he was still struggling with the past and still in love with his wife.
My mother was right after all about his need for a long healing.
That night, he said that I was very appealing to him, although I was not the kind of woman that he usually picked.
He said that he loved the way that I took care of everything, and at that moment I knew I had the qualities of his mother, his favorite woman on this Earth.
He was full of compliments and charm that night as we shared some laughs about our memorable past.
I pulled two cards for him that night, (the Magician and Strength cards) but I should have pulled three cards, so I will pull the third card right now, the one that reveals the outcome and timing. And the card is (Drum—Roll), the 9 of Swords!
© Ron Sumners | Dreamstime.com
Here is my interpretation of the three tarot cards.
The Magician card shows that he was enacting his plans and regaining confidence, reassuming his old, charming self, with his gift of communication.
The Strength card crosses the Magician, showing that he has really worked hard at taming all the fears he once had, refusing to let fear control him anymore.
When the Strength card came out, he told me that a tile in the bathroom he had used when living in my house, contained a picture of a lion kissing a woman. I went upstairs to take a look at the tile, and there it was as he said.
The picture of the Strength card was in the tile, except the lion was kissing the woman and trying to tame her.
The last card is the 9 of Swords and this card crosses his fears and shows that even though he feels he has control of his life again, he had lost hope.
All the anxiety and burdens that overwhelmed him over the last year had taken a toll on him and changed him.
The 9 of Swords is saying, “This is your wakeup call. The nightmare that you suffered has past, so dwell not on the worries and sleepless nights of the past.”
The timing of the Sword card is unknown in my deck, so the outcome remains undetermined. He is not ready to move on from the past.
© Oxlock | Dreamstime.com
February Song—The Mystery
The number 9 indicates the completion of a cycle and attainment, but with the closure of the 9, we understand we also face renewal, for there is no ending without a beginning.
The 9 of “Sword Tarot Card” is connected to our thoughts and to the mental pain of closure. The number 9 brings the end of a journey, or should I say the new beginning before you.
That night, he asked me to go to brunch on Sunday afternoon, and I said yes. Sunday came, and I was waiting for him to pick me up, but he never showed or called to cancel the brunch.
This was the first time in my life that I was stood up, and I was crushed. My guides had anticipated this, which is why they had prompted me to buy the CD.
The timing was “February Song,” and the song said that “He never wanted to let me down and to forgive him while he slipped away. I promise you I, I’ll come back to you one day.”
This story doesn’t offer a happy ending, but it sure does show that my spiritual connection knows of events before I experience them, and that somebody up there knows all about you and how your life is going to play out.
© Maunger | Dreamstime.com
The timing of the 9 of Swords: We come full circle with the number 9, starting over but proceeding differently.
With the number 9, we complete a cycle, the end of a marriage or relationship or of a great trauma in your life. We need to find true closure and reestablish balance, fighting to relinquish the past, so it will not consume us and destroy our life focus.
The number 9 holds the energy of attainment and completion, but with closure, we face renewal and a new, startling beginning.
The timing is very difficult to predict because we all heal differently. In fact, I feel that there are three stages to healing when we go through a traumatic event.
© Norebbo | Dreamstime.com
His Heart Was Closed
1) The first stage of the healing process is the traumatic, life-altering event. Your position has changed irrevocably, and fear and uncertainty plague your misdirected path. The loss and grief can take a few days or a few years to process, depending on the depth of your attachment.
2) Depression saps your energies, and you relive the past every day, analyzing it repeatedly until your mental exhaustion creeps into your body as well. This is a time when you need a good friend that will force you to start living again, one day at a time. Despite yourself, your friends will push you into a new healing phase to live life again.
3) Acceptance and recovery may take two years or longer depending on the length of the lost relationship. The longer the relationship, the longer it takes to heal. At this point we realize there will always be a place in our heart for the person we lost, but they are no longer the focus of our lives. We start to consider taking another risk, a new beginning, but we are equipped with all we’ve learned from the past and will not allow the same mistakes to repeat.
© Starblue | Dreamstime.com
Only The Angels Know The Outcome…
© Safina 2011
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