Can one mistake change the destiny of your life? Were you supposed to make that mistake for a specific reason? Was your life all plotted out for you on the day that you were born? Did your mistake sadly end up in your “Secret Closet” of regrets, because it taught you something about yourself that you needed to fix?
I named the twelfth house of my natal birth house, “The Secret Closet.” I believe the “Secret Closet” is a metaphor for the subconscious. The “Secret Closet” represents everything that is hidden in your subconscious waiting to be revealed to you through your dreams, visions and spiritual realization.
The High Priestess Tarot Card represents meeting your higher self, and also represents your intuitive guide that resides within you. The High Priestess is connected to your “Secret Closet” because she is the wiser you. She is your personal guide that you call upon when your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals, and you feel the inner “knowing” that this is the time that you need to have the courage to listen to what your wise self is communicating to you!
The “Higher Self” also represents your spiritual development, which is a time of personal internal growth when you are connecting to your instincts, intuition, and your initial gut feeling about your situation. You are prompted to listen to your subconscious through your dreams and visions, which is not easy to do in the beginning of your spiritual development.
When the High Priestess (The Higher Self ) prompts you to listen to her, you need to ask yourself what the hidden truth is in a given situation. When considering the answer, repose trust in your intuition, and realize that your initial thought comes from your “Higher Self,” which is usually correct.
The twelfth house is ruled by the planet of Neptune (the spiritual awakener). Do you find yourself being aroused and awakened by the planet Neptune? Does everything become a test, and nothing is what it seems to be? Do you see everything as a beautiful blooming rose, and not see the stinging effects of the rose bush thorns?
Did you know the planet Neptune is connected to your conscious (how you articulate and understand a situation; how you understand your personality and the actions you will make) bridging between your unconscious (how you blindly sail out to sea; unaware of your personality and the actions you will make)? Did you know that when Neptune transits through your natal birth chart it will stir up your “Secret Closet,” bringing out your ghosts from the past, your secret weaknesses, past mistakes, and regrets to the surface?
Did you know the twelfth house is also known as the house of endings and new beginnings? The twelfth house represents your secret weaknesses because it refers to your past mistakes, regrets, and how you hold onto the past; because you cannot forgive yourself for your mistakes or forgive the person that hurt you!
The twelfth house is loaded with your fears, regrets, and phobias; because of the hurt you experienced that you were never able to fix. Your pain and fears stayed locked in your “Secret Closet,” waiting for the day to escape; the day that you finally forgive yourself or forgive the person that hurt you!
Some astrologers say that your destiny is predetermined, while others say it is not. Karma represents your actions; what you do and say will always bear fruit and return an equal reaction to you that will be good or bad. I have learned through my life experiences that there is a predetermined past life karma, and yes, karma sadly repeats. Was your relationship fated to end, because of your “Soul’s Agreement” in this lifetime and the destiny that you agreed too?
When you reach chapter 11, “The Wheel of Fortune” you will learn about fate and destiny, “Your Soul’s Agreement.” Was there something that you promised to do in this lifetime; the contract that you agreed to; the connection to your Soul and the importance of learning your Soul’s mission? The planet Jupiter represents your guide, or your personal helper that will guide you to your higher accomplishments in life.
Sometimes karma will return to you suddenly, but sometimes it returns when you least expect it! Saturn, the lord of karma, brings you into the hardest lessons, and the biggest tests you will experience in your life!
I learned about karma early in my life and also when my fiancé had to go away and enter the witness protection program. We were separated for life because of outside forces. I talked about karma and past lives in chapter 8; my experience with the Lovers card.
As I remember, it was Easter, and the time for my friend and I to go camping in the desert. The temperature was in the 90s, and it was time to go get a sun tan to start celebrating the spring season! The Earth was waking up from its wintry slumber and summer was on the way! My girlfriend and I drove out to the desert and set up camp and basked in the sun on Easter weekend! We were “rebels” and just wanted to go to the desert and get away for a weekend. We wanted to escape cooking and washing the dishes for a while, and just ran like the wind to the desert. We never heard the end of it from our mothers!
After we set up our tent and ate our delicious pork and beans Easter dinner, we smelled someone barbequing pork chops! Soon after, a handsome young man that looked like “Jeremiah Johnson” (Robert Redford played Jeremiah Johnson in the classic 1972 movie). This handsome man came out of nowhere and brought us a tasty pork chop! We hung out with “Jeremiah Johnson” and his friends the entire weekend.
The weekend came and went, and then poof; it was time to go home! As we started to walk away and go our separate ways, “Jeremiah Johnson” yelled across the desert, “What’s your phone number!” I yelled it back to him wondering if he was going to remember my number; let alone actually call me. He evidently remembered and called me seven days later! After that we were together for six years until I messed up the relationship, and took a walk on the wild side!
He was the Sagittarius Zodiac Sign, and was located in my fifth house of fun and romantic friendships in my natal birth chart! He asked me to marry him and settle down and start a family, but I was not ready. I was still young and a rebel; still making mistakes and learning everything about myself the hard way!
When I finally came to my senses it was too late! I received my karma back at the time rather quickly, because he hooked up with my girlfriend; she got pregnant and they married shortly after! I truly believe that we receive back the same karma that we initiate! When you cause something to happen, there is going to be an equal effect or reaction because of what you caused!
During that time, I was approaching my first Saturn return. The planet Saturn was in the initial onset of transiting through my fourth house of home; in the sign of Scorpio (the zodiac sign that experiences death and rebirth; the sign that has to rise from the ashes of defeat). The fourth house represents your home, which signifies the current home you reside in, and the property that you own. This house represents your roots (your mother and father), your upbringing, your childhood, and foundation for your life.
The Saturn return signifies a time when you may experience catastrophic changes that can be either good or bad. My first Saturn return was a time of sudden impact! I moved away from the current home that I resided in with my partner, and returned home to my roots with my mother and father. My first Saturn return was a time when I felt knocked off my axis and spent three years healing!
Before the ending of my relationship with “Jeremiah Johnson,” my girlfriend had left her husband. Her husband was also a very close friend of Jeremiah. My girlfriend asked me if she could move back in with us, and I remember the words that came out of my partner’s mouth; he said, “I really do not want her to come back here!” I never fully understood the reason why he said those words, loud and clear, until her ex-husband visited me and told me that she had a diary that he found and read. I will end the story here because her ex-husband would not tell me what was in the diary. He knew I was broken hearted, and that I blamed myself for everything that had happened; he also said that he did not want to re-open a wound that still needed to heal!
Can one mistake change the destiny of your life? Yes it can! Were you supposed to make that mistake for a specific reason? Yes, because you had to learn a lesson about your character and the actions you took! Was your life all plotted out for you on the day that you were born? Yes, because the planets were going to continually transit through your natal birth house and test you! Did your mistake sadly end up in your “Secret Closet” of regrets because it taught you something about yourself that you needed to fix? Yes, my mistake ended up in my “Secret Closet” and my experience taught me about the bridge between my conscious and unconscious desires. I also learned that I had to set up boundaries with the people I allowed in my life, and not look at everything with rose colored glasses on!
Lastly, I felt the universe recruited me to go through “Boot Camp” so that I would learn that; “Everything in life is a test, (the planets are always going to transit through your natal birth chart and test you; especially when the planet Neptune is transiting through your natal birth chart; the bridge between your conscious and unconscious desires, or someone else’s conscious and unconscious desires) and that sometimes nothing is what it seems to be!”
Norebbo | Dreamstime.com
His Heart Was Closed – My Heart Was Broken
The Three Stages Of Healing
1) The first stage of the healing process is a traumatic, and life-altering event. Your position in life has changed irrevocably, and fear and uncertainty plague your misdirected path. The loss and grief can take a few days or many years to process; depending on the depth of your attachment.
2) Depression comes next and saps your energies. You relive the past every day. You are continually analyzing it repeatedly until your mental exhaustion creeps into your body as well. This is a time when you need a good friend that will force you to start living again; one day at a time. Despite yourself; your friends will push you into a new healing phase so as to live life again.
3) Then comes acceptance and recovery, thus completing the healing process, which may take two years or longer; depending on the length of the lost relationship. The longer the relationship; the longer it takes to heal. At this point you realize there will always be a place in your heart for the person you lost, but they are no longer the focus of your life. You start to consider taking another relationship risk; a new beginning. You are now equipped with everything you’ve learned from the past, and will not allow the same mistakes to repeat.
Qqibb | Dreamstime.com
Sewing Up My Broken Heart
With Love and Joy,
© Safina 2012
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