I pulled out the 3 of swords today as a daily card. It got me thinking about criticism and how just one nasty little remark can completely ruin your day.

The three of swords is usually interpreted as ‘the heart break’ card. Without a doubt, if this falls in a relationship reading, it’s bad news. Next to that specific meaning, there’s something more to this card.

The swords not only represent thoughts but also ‘what’s being said’. A big portion of our thoughts are in fact  recordings of things previously said to us. And sadly, it’s the negative stuff that sticks. I have numerous automatic re-runs of critical remarks that pop up whenever I feel off balance or insecure. And even though I have numerous sweet and encouraging remarks stored up, too.  I need to focus on them consciously as they seem to get over shadowed by the loud and persistent negative voices in my head.

I had lunch with a friend who is always very positive and she told me of a workshop she had done on compliments. I was amazed that she of all people would need a workshop like that. But she said that it was really about effective communication, and that the compliment excercises actually truly worked. Cheerfully she said  she threw out all other stuff that had being said as it was all theory and models and statistics. ‘Honey, a big fat compliment a day for yourself and others, that’s all we need these days.’ I couldn’t agree more.

We all know these so called compliments that have a slap attached to them: Best one I received last week: Nice dress, makes you look less fat! Huh me fat?? I could lose 10 pounds, sure, but to call me fat...! Anyway guess what my inner critic said each time I caught myself in the mirror and thought I looked good…He fatty, nice dress!

Before I know  I am not complementing myself but arguing with my inner critic.

There’s a video on youtube of a young girl who is very enthusiastically complementing herself in the mirror. Very funny to watch and I thought I’ll try that for today. I felt silly talking to myself in the mirror but once I got going it was fun.

Don’t know if my inner critic agreed with all that was being said, but at least it remained silent…

And that’s worth a compliment!

Blessings Pearl

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Attention.

On my high energy days I still love to get lot’s of things done and enjoy doing them all at once. But more and more I experience the setback of multitasking. A feeling of pressure, a nervousness when there aren’t lots of things to do, a rather chaotic feeling. The fullness of life turning into an overload of details, information and ‘stuff’ to do. Loosing the sense of self and the connection getting lost in the details. Time to slow down. Connecting the mind with the senses is the easiest way to create peace through attention.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

For mother’s day I got a big bouquet of flowers from my oldest.The flowers have been standing on my worktable for two weeks now. The more I see them the more I am taken by their beauty. Initially I admired them because they carried the sweetness of the intention. But their silent existence caught my eye everytime. The variation of color, shape and how they opened themselves towards the light. The act of admiring bringing peace and calmness.

Listening with attention.

When we listen to another, we have, at least, half of our attention focussed on what goes on in our own mind. How we will respond, what our opinion is on the subject, how the other looks or how do we might come across? Hardly able to wait till the other has made their point so we can respond. Try focusing on your breath while listening to another. You will find that it doesn’t take away your focus on the other but instead opens your awareness. Through this expanded awareness a deeper connection with the other occurs. Not only you’ll be able to clearly hear the message, this deeper sense of the other creates grounding as well.

Get in touch.

Since most of us spend lots of time being wrapped up in our mind, touch brings you back into reality very fast. Refresh your sensory memory by touching the world around you. It can be as simple as folding clothes, work in the garden or do some dishes the old fashioned way. Treat yourself to a massage of the hands. The hands are very sensitive and they need some special attention every once in a while.

Blessings Pearl

We are what we imagine to be….

Our imagination is a great tool to change our life. Let’s use it.

Here are a few guidelines that can help you visualize.. 

1 Set a clear intention

Setting an intention is like ordering what you want in a restaurant. Telling the waiter ‘Ï want food’ is not likely to get you you’re dream meal. You have to be precise. Write what you want on a piece of paper and be specific.

2. Fantasize!

Spend some time on a daily basis to dream about what you want. Imagine how you feel getting it, living it. Make the fantasy outrageous so it makes you laugh. This helps you develop a more fine tuned imagery of what you want. Let your imagination play in free mode. On the subconscious level these fantasies and images help you to get used to the new experiences you want for yourself.

3. Let go of worry

Lot’s of worries are totally automatic. Usually a worry doesn’t come alone, it is connected to a train of thoughts. Leading to a state of panic that won’t help you to see options. This might even get in the way of freely fantasizing getting your needs met. If  you find that worries block your fantasy or visualisation, take a step back. See how you can alter your wish to a more comfortable one. Spend time fulfilling that one, and than take it a step further.

4. Picture it

Collect pictures that remind you of your wish. Put them on a board so you have a visual reminder of what you want. This makes it easier to envision it becoming a reality. If your wish is not invented yet, make a drawing. Don’t worry about your drawing skills, your mind will get the message.

5 Say thank you

When your done dreaming ( and laughing) say thank you to the universe as if you’re fantasy was real. Say thank you for receiving tons of money, fitting your favourite size pants, being wooed by your special someone, whatever you got in the fantasy.

The energy of spring is excellent to support fresh,  new ideas. Are you ready to create  something new?  Want to refresh your inspiration.? Set an intention ? This is the right time to do it. There’s more light in the day to energize you. Nature adds colour, reminding us how rich and creative we are. Just like the seed contains the flowers, unseen until the conditions are right. The right season, water, sunshine and some space to grow. Visualizing is like sunshine and water for the mind.

Blessings Pearl

The Fool is the first card of the major arcana. The start of the journey. It is the number zero. It is the egg, the zero point, the wild card. Reminding us of the unlimited potential we posses. The start of new phases of experience in our life. Dionysius as god of the wine, embodies the surge of life that we experience in spring. He is the god that supervises the power of growth in nature.

When we undertake a new journey, start a new venture, new relationship or enter a new phase in our spiritual development, we need to accept a certain amount of innocence at the start. Even naivety will be part of our perspective. We cannot know or will not be shown all that is in our future. We are here to experience, fully equipped to master life. For sure we will be tested along the way but if we knew all the hardships or results we often wouldn’t start at all. Remember: we do not gain muscles by lifting tea bags. We need a certain amount of resistance to gain strength and knowledge.

I swapped stories with friends yesterday about all the stupid things we did or said while being in love. All the efforts that led to rejection, with us being oblivious to that result, blinded by our own romantic lustful idiotic behavior. Projecting all our hopes and fears unto our object of desire. The embarrassment experienced becomes hilarious in the review. To our astonishment approximately the same behavior has often led to romance or relationship.

My teacher always said life is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be danced. I couldn’t agree more. Life invites you over and over again to join in the dance. The Fool can assist us when we step into the unknown and guide us through experiencing the new. The fool is not the over-prepared, controlling planner who embarks on a journey with a checklist. The fool reminds us that the willingness to journey into the unknown unlocks the creative flow of life. Opening us to the innocence and vulnerability that enables us to develop and grow beyond our current position.

Especially when falling in love we need a conscious reminder of how life supports us even when it seems delicate and scary. Love is risky, we all experience heartbreak, rejection, bad choices. Love is all around us too. To answer its call we have to allow our inner playful fool to emerge. We need to take a leap of faith, allowing ourselves to be a fool or master by doing so. You’ll never know unless you take the jump.

Trust yourself, show your colors, join nature in it’s abundance.

Buy yourself some flowers today and consider yourself invited to the dance.

Love Pearl

If there is discordance in a team, operations will not work smoothly. It slows down work progress, limits innovation and might even lead to burnout amongst team members.

The four of wands sees conflict as an opportunity for Truce.

We need to go through all elements of the issue and solve their complication to bring the peace a truce will give us.Applying four peaceful guidelines that originally stem from tribal traditions can help bring the issue to a peaceful solution, where all involved are honored. When in a tribe a conflict arose, a meeting was called. Everyone involved was required to

Show up.

Pay attention.

Tell the truth.

Do not have a fixed result in your head.

Showing up is the key, do not dodge your responsibility. Since you’re part of a team, consider it your problem as well. Taking responsibility starts with acknowledging there is a problem. It sounds obvious, but many use avoidance as a way of dealing with issues. Be there, be present.

Listen with an open mind to all that is said. Postpone your opinion. We tend to be busy with what we are going to say, instead of simply listening to what is said. If your mind runs off, simply watch your breath for a few moments. This brings you back to the present. Pay attention to body language. How a person says it, is equally important.

When asked: speak your mind. Ensure that all team members are heard. If you think there’s no room for truth, find an elegant way to address just that. Who knows, you’re view might be the inspiration that leads to a solution.

You might miss unexpected information, if you limit results. Letting go of a fixed result, even if just for the meeting, creates space for new observations. Ask questions on how others would like to solve the problem. Invite your team to contribute idea’s, observations and desired results.

If you’re able to apply these four elements, renewal and regeneration will happen.

Blessings,

Pearl

Regeneration happens, starting from a deeply spiritual inner source reaching out to all four levels of our being.

The four of swords turned up for me last week. I impulsively planned a short trip to Naples Italy. I always had wanted to go there, to see Pompeii, the secret museum ( the erotic art that had been locked until 1970) and to eat the fabulous pizza.

Don’t really know why al of sudden I jumped on a plane, even when boarding the plane I was wondering why it had to Naples of a sudden. I do trust my impulses, as they usually turn out to be a playful nudge from my soul. Besides, who would object to having four days of Art and Pizza?

I decided to simply see what would happen and I drew one card. The four of swords. What I could relate to, was the need for a vacation, a rest and the integration stage. Wonderful beautiful city and indeed great pizza.  I loved it. When drawing the card I had decided to just evaluate when returning on how that single card applied to the experience. You get so used to a certain interpretation of a card, these surprise experiences can make you look afresh at their meaning. This trip turned out to be something more than a simple touristic diversion.

I have ended a soulmate relation a year ago. It ended because he started drinking again after being a non-drinking alcoholic for a few years. I grew up in an alcoholic home and vowed never ever to have a relation with an alcoholic or addicted person. I would never fall into the trap of reliving childhood patterns. For those of you who have experienced soulmate relations, they arrive in our life to touch our hurt and broaden our capacity for love. And love it was, very simple and very real. To even start a relation with a non-drinking alcoholic had been a major step for me. After the relation was over it caused me to, once again, look at patterns that I had never thought were related to the alcoholism I grew up with. Deep love, true inner core friendship revealing the hurt that had been blocking me.

Last year had been all about clearing those patterns up, bringing to light the despair, chaos and twisted painful love, I had experienced growing up. And brought with me in the relationship. A soulmate relation touches these issues as the love and trust go so deep. When a soulmate relation ends, the deep transformation continues.That transformation has reached its conclusion. Now, one year later, life is relaxed again. We finally managed to forgive each other and move on.

Italians tend to beautify everything, and it made me relax on a deep level, as everything was so… just right. The beauty of the churches touched me deeply. Very well kept, full of attention to detail, beautiful art and alive with worship. I visited the Dome when mass was in progress. I sat in a bench with ladies, who were all praying and crying openly. All of a sudden I found myself crying too, experiencing the feeling of being able to surrender my past struggles. Space to let go and the comfort of the company of strangers was exactly what I needed. After mass was over, we all smiled at one another, got up and left. I walked out, refreshed and happy. Treated myself to a great pizza, of course! Feeling, again, very comfortable amidst the big families who were enjoying the food. Not the slightest bit of awkwardness for eating alone. I was treated no different from them. Enjoying good food and wine is so essential in Italy, it naturally gives you permission to devour your meal. Waiters, dressed crispy and clean, genuinely pleased when they see you eat with zest.I love family, food and the spiritual in daily life. I was reminded how important it is to honor these values by adding quality and beauty to the experience.

Allowing your soul to lead you to a place where it can rest, turning truce into peace.

Walk in Beauty,

Love Pearl

Six of Cups  Memories, may be beautiful and yet...



Satiety,  Pleasure, Happy memories

This card is connected to memories, looking back to past events and relationships, it refers to our youth or our earliest memories. It can herald the arrival of a lover from the past.

When we get stuck in this rose colored dreaminess, we become sentimental and nostalgic. Clinging to a naivety that shuts out a realistic view on the present. It can lead to dramatic longing for people or places that have gone from out lives. If you’ve experienced a loss, and change always includes loss of some kind, this is a normal stage in the mourning process. It is perfectly appropriate to shed tears over what was loved and lost. May it be a person, pet, or parts of yourself that have gone from your life.

Take a journey into the past but make sure you come back with a renewed zest for the reality of life as it is now. By connecting to your inner child you can heal past hurt. You can comfort the child, explain what happened or even teach it life skills that you’ve learned along the way.

♥

In a relation this card can mark a a time where you feel save, protected and loved. The dreamy romantic quality of the card is at its best. You feel comfortable with each other. Love flows, building trust and surrender. If you’ve had a rough childhood, these experiences are touched and healed. If only because you’ll be able to allow yourself experiences of happiness and trust that might be new to you. You’ll be open to the tenderness and good intentions that your partner has towards you. A hurtful past  influences our ability to trust, we need these positive experiences to learn how trust feels and looks like, being an adult.
Working with the inner child is very beneficial when this card shows up.
It points us to our responsibility to integrate our childhood experiences with our mature self. To loose the naivety and keep a sense of innocence even if we are weathered through walking our path.

♥

If you’ve ended a relation this card points to the phase where healing comes from peacefully remembering the happiness that was part of the relation too. By allowing ourselves to reflect on the happiness that we experienced, we begin to heal. It brings us closer to accepting the reality as it is. Even though it leads us to acceptance, it is not always an easy phase. Memories about the happy feelings, the dreams that were shared, the romance: it can take you by surprise. All of a sudden there it is, regardless of all the reasons why you broke up. The memories that put a smile on your face but pull on your heart strings.
Shining a light on the one thing you cannot let go off. It may have been the easy talks, the wonderful sex, the intimacy or simply the happy times in the relationship.
 Right before you are finally ready to move on, these happy memories can throw you off balance.
 Getting back in the dating game can be scary, bringing to light the insecurities we carry. Am I good enough, attractive enough, will I be able to withstand the ‘judgement’, will I be lovable for someone new? 
Of course we draw back on past love that lifted us above those insecure feelings. Let the memories be a reminder that love is possible for you. Keep the good stuff and heal what hurts.

If loving support was not available to you as a child, it can be difficult to find the words or visualizations that you need to comfort the child within. If you need help or inspiration working with your inner child, let me help you. Sometimes you need the loving eyes of another to see your own beauty within.

Love, Pearl

♥

Memories by Barbara Streisand says it so beautifully:

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...

The new year has begun! I wish all of you a beautiful, happy and prosperous new year.
I have a good feeling about the year to come. It will be less hard than 2012. It was indeed a year of transformation, which is never easy. 2012 was a ‘five’year. A year of struggle, collapse of social structure and crises.
This is a ‘six’ year. A time to recover from the crisis, stress and turmoil created by the five.
In stressful times usually health, peace, beauty and inspiration get lost in the upheaval. As you start to relax there will be time to focus on these qualities again.
This is a year to focus on nourishing yourself and your relations to create more beauty, peace and inspiration for all.
Relation is not limited to people alone. We relate to everything around us. This year is an excellent year to expand your awareness on the intertwined nature of our lives. Paying attention to the subtle energy around us enhances the feeling of togetherness and love for life.
I know it does mine!

There are two forms of happiness according to the buddhists. One is the happiness that is the result of getting what you want. Whether it is succes, love, money etc. The second is the happiness that is within, the essence of our true nature. Regardless of what you have or do not have. The state of happiness that puts a smile on your face when touched by unexpected beauty.

I wish you all an abundance of beauty and a loving heart to recieve it,
Love Pearl

Crisis

The five of Pentacles

Loss of financial stability. Hard times, broke, loss of income, poverty, loss of possessions.  Loss on a deeper level; of self esteem, faith in oneself, faith in life itself, feeling punished, loss of inspiration.

I could continue the list of variations on the emotional or physical loss, endlessly. Let it be clear that this card is one of the most crude cards in the deck. It depicts hard times, with too little money or failing to advance yourself or your business.

The mythic tarot uses the myth of Daedalus to lead us through the  Pentacles suite. The myth is used to highlight the morality that surrounds the pursuit of money or career.

The Myth

Daedalus was a master builder, inventor and artist. He was famous for adding movement and aliveness to his statues. Putting soul into stone, like Michelangelo, a rare and unique artist. A versatile man, like Da Vinci, not limiting his craft and inspiration to art alone.

The 5 of pentacles depicts him at his height of his career and craftsmanship. He is alone in the dark night, upon him the light of the moon, wrapped in a hooded cloak. He is walking away from his workshop. A solid building adorned with golden coins.

He is not leaving on his own account. He has been cast out, forced to leave all behind. He did a terrible thing, he murdered his nephew and apprentice Talos. Out of jealousy, for he had taught the talented Talos so well, the boy exceeded him in fame and craft.

The Fall

Here comes into play another meaning attached to the 5 of pentacles. That of the fall or being cast out in the cold. 

The loss portrait is often accompanied by loss of support of our circle of friends, coworkers or family.

Just like Deadalus we may have done something rash, stupid or even unforgiven which causes us to loose this support.

We are ( feeling) cast out and forced to travel our journey alone.

The Five of Pentacles points to a time of being alone, feeling abandoned, ignored and unwanted.  You are in desperate need of support and comfort from caring companions, and do not recieve it. Or dare ask for it…..

Reality bites

Recently many people have faced financial difficulties or loss of possessions and security. Some feel embarrassed or ashamed by not being able to maintain their former lifestyle or are indeed ostracized by others for it. While some retreat into silence or keep up appearances, it might serve you better to be open about the reality of your situation.

A few years ago I was in bad financial shape. My mind was restricted by the ‘poverty consciousness’ that is depicted in this card. I couldn’t get past a certain level of (material) success or fruitfulness. I am one of those people who are born with a hole in their hand and I would never be really aware of what came in or what went out. The 5 of pentacles would show up fairly often but I didn’t fully realize what was going on. The ‘poverty consciousness’ was puzzling me. Working as a freelancer can keep you oblivious for your financial flaws for a long time. As payments are not being done on time, money coming in irregularly, etc. And always the possibility of the ship of gold sailing in, shimmering on the horizon. Yeah right. No ship, wood or gold was coming in…And my flaws started to really show.

At a certain point I was fed up by keeping up a shiny version of my reality. So when asked, I told the truth: No I do not have a lot of work, No financially I am not ok. Yes, I do play a part in it as I did some stupid things and neglected others. And contrary to what I feared, most people opened up about the real state of their financial affaires and worries. What a relief that was. Instead of feeling alone, I found it deepened the friendship. Through the honesty of facing reality, came awareness of what I contributed to the mess. It certainly humbled me, and the road to shaping up and act more responsible was still lonely.

Reversed

Reversed it has a more upside view. The end of financial problems or worries. Stepping out of the cold and joining a community. New hope and prospects will show you the way out of the difficulties. End of a ‘cold’ stage in your relation.

However relations that served as safe haven against a ‘cruel world’  based on mutual strife against it, might come apart.

If you experienced this loss or feel left out in the cold, share your story. We can support each other in these trying times.

Blessings Pearl

We all know the state of mind this scene represents.  The mind starts to comment on what is basically a good thing.  The seemingly innocent question Is it all good? opens the door for doubts and fears. All is well but suddenly it seems something is lacking. Your not as inspired anymore, not as thrilled as you used to be with this formerly new and exciting lover or job.

It seems that fear of the positive is at work here.

The Myth

The Mythic Tarot deck uses the myth of Eros and Psyche for the cup cards to illuminate emotional issues, family matters, love, romance and relationships.

The four of cups shows Psyche, dressed in her white gown, sitting on the floor, in between her two sisters. While Psyche is looking at the 4 golden cups, they pour their jealous views into her ears. The sisters are jealous at her happy marriage, her husbands devotion and her good fortune. To diminish their feelings of jealousy and envy, they are trying to sow the seeds of doubt and fear.

For she is young and innocent, recently married, trusts her husband, very happy but lonely. She invited her sisters so she could share her happiness and show them that her fate had turned to fortune.

Now here she is, staring passively at the four upright full cups.

We could see the sisters as external factors that make you doubtful of your happiness. It might even be real people who have an agenda of their own, trying to destroy your happiness.

From my personal experience this card represents an inner state. I call it ‘fear of the positive’. I know this card and to be frank I do not like it if it falls in a reading for myself. Because it puts the finger on a not so thrilling feature that I have. I believe I share this with many people. That once I get what I wanted or needed, after a while boredom sets in.

Is this all there is?  What if it isn’t what I really wanted? 

Doesn’t matter if the ‘it’ is the romance settling down, the job starting to be a routine, or life becoming predictable.

The feeling of boredom is a tough enemy to fight. It makes you feel drained of energy, you’re getting hard to please and do not feel the need for action.  As boredom deludes you into believing it is the outside world that is not interesting anymore.

Change, not escape, is the answer.

Here’s a paradox:  Beyond our desire to be happy, we also unconsciously hold on to our fears. The strongest fear is the fear of the positive, your own potential.

Growing up, we all came across restrictions, negative situations, a denial of who we truly are. We all started life being dependent on others for our survival. For food, for love, for validation. We needed another to take care of us. We were being cared for but also controlled by the grown ups that we were depended on.

Restrictions and dependency always create fears.

These are the fears that come into play when we encounter new, fresh and happy occasions.

Subconciously we fear that if we truly love, allow our beauty to come out and our potential to evolve that we will meet the restrictions that we knew in our childhood. And because we want to avoid that hurt we start to restrict ourselves.

Boredom is my personal red flag, reminding me to look at my subconcious fear of being happy.

Just like nagging thoughts can rob you of feeling good. Beware of the company you keep in your mind.

Using the psychological meaning of the colors, the sister in the black dress represents fear while the sister dressed in red represents jealousy, hate and revenge.

Psyche wearing the white dress represents a state of mind that is naturally loving, trusting and innocent. All three ladies are sitting with their backs turned to the blue backround. Varying from deep blue, turquoise and light blue.

Blue is a color that can balance willpower, ideals, faith in intuitive insights. It cools and harmonizes. Bringing peace and calmness and works against feeling stuck in a rut or routine.

The balance is brought about by mixing white with the blue’s.

Innocence with experience. Trust and dealing with doubts. Fear and depression with inspiration and courage.

Innocence has to evolve and grow towards an authentic self.  If we refuse to grow, our innocence turns into blankness or naivety.

Therefor we have to deal with experiences good and bad, with fear and doubts, with life patterns that stand in our way of being authentic. In other words; we have to allow life to happen to us, to touch us and move us.

We cannot stay innocent while being on our lives journey, we have to deal with our issues as they present themselves. We are in charge of our authentic self to shine its light. We are here on this wonderful planet, do not waste it with being bored.

Blessings Pearl