Criticize or Compliment
I pulled out the 3 of swords today as a daily card. It got me thinking about criticism and how just one nasty little remark can completely ruin your day.
The three of swords is usually interpreted as ‘the heart break’ card. Without a doubt, if this falls in a relationship reading, it’s bad news. Next to that specific meaning, there’s something more to this card.
The swords not only represent thoughts but also ‘what’s being said’. A big portion of our thoughts are in fact recordings of things previously said to us. And sadly, it’s the negative stuff that sticks. I have numerous automatic re-runs of critical remarks that pop up whenever I feel off balance or insecure. And even though I have numerous sweet and encouraging remarks stored up, too. I need to focus on them consciously as they seem to get over shadowed by the loud and persistent negative voices in my head.
I had lunch with a friend who is always very positive and she told me of a workshop she had done on compliments. I was amazed that she of all people would need a workshop like that. But she said that it was really about effective communication, and that the compliment excercises actually truly worked. Cheerfully she said she threw out all other stuff that had being said as it was all theory and models and statistics. ‘Honey, a big fat compliment a day for yourself and others, that’s all we need these days.’ I couldn’t agree more.
We all know these so called compliments that have a slap attached to them: Best one I received last week: Nice dress, makes you look less fat! Huh me fat?? I could lose 10 pounds, sure, but to call me fat...! Anyway guess what my inner critic said each time I caught myself in the mirror and thought I looked good…He fatty, nice dress!
Before I know I am not complementing myself but arguing with my inner critic.
There’s a video on youtube of a young girl who is very enthusiastically complementing herself in the mirror. Very funny to watch and I thought I’ll try that for today. I felt silly talking to myself in the mirror but once I got going it was fun.
Don’t know if my inner critic agreed with all that was being said, but at least it remained silent…
And that’s worth a compliment!
We have a simple tool to stop the world and find a moment of peace. The simple act of focusing your awareness on one single thing. Attention. On my high energy days I still love to get lot’s of things done and enjoy doing them all at once. But more and more I experience the more
Spend some time on a daily basis to dream about what you want. Imagine how you feel getting it, living it. Make the fantasy outrageous so it makes you laugh. This helps you develop a more fine tuned imagery of what you want. Let your imagination play in free mode. On the subconscious level these fantasies and images help you to get used to the new experiences you want for yourself.
When we undertake a new journey, start a new venture, new relationship or enter a new phase in our spiritual development, we need to accept a certain amount of innocence at the start. Even naivety will be part of our perspective. We cannot know or will not be shown all that is in our future. We are here to experience, fully equipped to master life.
When asked: speak your mind. Ensure that all team members are heard. If you think there’s no room for truth, find an elegant way to adress just that. Who knows, you’re view might be the inspiration that leads to a solution.
The classic vacation card, needing to rest, the integration stage of issues that took a long battle. Truce. Through the process of integration, a problem has been brought to light on four levels of understanding. Clarity dawns on the mental, the emotional, the spiritual and the external worlds. Regeneration happens, starting from a deeply spiritual inner source reaching out to all four levels of our being.
In a relation this card can mark a a time where you feel save, protected and loved. The dreamy romantic quality of the card is at it best. You feel comfortable with each other. Love flows, building trust and surrender. If you’ve had a rough childhood, these experiences are touched and healed. If only because you’ll be able to allow yourself experiences of happiness and trust that might be new to you. You’ll be open to the tenderness and good intentions that your partner has towards you. A hurtful past influences our ability to trust, we need these positive experiences to learn how trust feels and looks like being an adult. Working with the inner child is very beneficial when this card shows up. It points us to our responsibility to integrate our childhood experiences with our mature self. To loose the naivety and keep a sense of innocence even if we are weathered through walking our path.
Happy 2013 to you all, The new year has begun! I wish all of you a beautiful, happy and prosperous new year. I have a good feeling about the year to come. It will be less hard than 2012. It was indeed a year of transformation, which is never easy. 2012 was a ‘five’year. A more
I could continue the list of variations on the emotional or physical loss, endlessly. Let it be clear that this card is one of the most crude cards in the deck. It depicts hard times, with too little money or failing to advance yourself or your business.
The mythic tarot uses the myth of Daedalus to lead us through the Pentacles suite. The myth is used to highlight the morality that surrounds the pursuit of money or career.
We all know the state of mind this scene represents. The mind starts to comment on what is basically a good thing. The seemingly innocent question Is it all good? opens the door for doubts and fears. All is well but suddenly it seems something is lacking. Your not as inspired anymore, not as thrilled as you used to be with this formerly new and exciting lover or job.
It seems that fear of the positive is at work here.
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