The classic vacation card, needing to rest, the integration stage of issues that took a long battle. Truce. Through the process of integration, a problem has been brought to light on four levels of understanding. Clarity dawns on the mental, the emotional, the spiritual and the external worlds.
Regeneration happens, starting from a deeply spiritual inner source reaching out to all four levels of our being.
The four of swords turned up for me last week. I impulsively planned a short trip to Naples Italy. I always had wanted to go there, to see Pompeii, the secret museum ( the erotic art that had been locked until 1970) and to eat the fabulous pizza.
Don’t really know why al of sudden I jumped on a plane, even when boarding the plane I was wondering why it had to Naples of a sudden. I do trust my impulses, as they usually turn out to be a playful nudge from my soul. Besides, who would object to having four days of Art and Pizza?
I decided to simply see what would happen and I drew one card. The four of swords. What I could relate to, was the need for a vacation, a rest and the integration stage. Wonderful beautiful city and indeed great pizza. I loved it. When drawing the card I had decided to just evaluate when returning on how that single card applied to the experience. You get so used to a certain interpretation of a card, these surprise experiences can make you look afresh at their meaning. This trip turned out to be something more than a simple touristic diversion.
I have ended a soulmate relation a year ago. It ended because he started drinking again after being a non-drinking alcoholic for a few years. I grew up in an alcoholic home and vowed never ever to have a relation with an alcoholic or addicted person. I would never fall into the trap of reliving childhood patterns. For those of you who have experienced soulmate relations, they arrive in our life to touch our hurt and broaden our capacity for love. And love it was, very simple and very real. To even start a relation with a non-drinking alcoholic had been a major step for me. After the relation was over it caused me to, once again, look at patterns that I had never thought were related to the alcoholism I grew up with. Deep love, true inner core friendship revealing the hurt that had been blocking me.
Last year had been all about clearing those patterns up, bringing to light the despair, chaos and twisted painful love, I had experienced growing up. And brought with me in the relationship. A soulmate relation touches these issues as the love and trust go so deep. When a soulmate relation ends, the deep transformation continues.That transformation has reached its conclusion. Now, one year later, life is relaxed again. We finally managed to forgive each other and move on.
Italians tend to beautify everything, and it made me relax on a deep level, as everything was so… just right. The beauty of the churches touched me deeply. Very well kept, full of attention to detail, beautiful art and alive with worship. I visited the Dome when mass was in progress. I sat in a bench with ladies, who were all praying and crying openly. All of a sudden I found myself crying too, experiencing the feeling of being able to surrender my past struggles. Space to let go and the comfort of the company of strangers was exactly what I needed. After mass was over, we all smiled at one another, got up and left. I walked out, refreshed and happy. Treated myself to a great pizza, of course! Feeling, again, very comfortable amidst the big families who were enjoying the food. Not the slightest bit of awkwardness for eating alone. I was treated no different from them. Enjoying good food and wine is so essential in Italy, it naturally gives you permission to devour your meal. Waiters, dressed crispy and clean, genuinely pleased when they see you eat with zest.I love family, food and the spiritual in daily life. I was reminded how important it is to honor these values by adding quality and beauty to the experience.
Allowing your soul to lead you to a place where it can rest, turning truce into peace.
Walk in Beauty,
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