It can be very painful and come as quite a shock when a relationship ends or you lose someone you love. Here are some ways that you can heal and move forward.
1. Don’t “Should” On Yourself
I love this expression, it is so true! It is all too easy when a relationship ends to find yourself mired in regret. It’s good for your soul to learn but don’t dwell forever on your mistakes. Beating yourself up over the past will only get you more beat up. When you feel regret, try visualising the regret flowing outside of you and blowing up a large balloon. Then see yourself releasing the balloon gently into the sky. Don’t should on yourself anymore.
2. Be Real
Try to stop romanticising the past. If your relationship, the person, or just life were perfect, you would still be together. When you get real about really was, it may not hurt as much to let it go. Also can you remember what is real about you? If you put dreams on hold or rejected parts of yourself to be in the relationship, this could be your chance to truly be yourself again. Perhaps your broken heart needs you to listen and it’s finally time to follow where it takes you.
3. Grieve Them
It is natural to feel very sad when someone very special leaves your life. You may also feel numb, shock, denial, anger, guilt, depressed, defeated... just to name a few. You have to feel everything that you are meant to feel. There really is no way around this process, you just need to go through it. If you’re afraid of the process, maybe try to visualise the feelings as if they are waves. Waves don’t last forever, instead they wash over you and then flow away. Watch the stormy sea inside you rage and then watch as it eventually passes. Even the wildest seas become calm and peaceful again to welcome a sunny new day.
4. Be Positive
When you think about it logically, the glass truly is always 100% full.
There is so much good that comes from relationships. Even just your heartbreak shows that you’re capable of love and your heart works; this is very beautiful! So what else was good? Was your soul learning in this relationship? Would it be possible to give yourself all the gifts of this relationship without needing this person anymore?
Remember how free you are now too. If you put any dreams on hold for this relationship, you are free to have those now. Could you go on the trip you always dreamed of? What can you do with your free time? Would it be possible to make your new life the best thing that ever happened to you?
5. Believe in You
When we are hurting it can be very difficult to stop the flow of negative thoughts. This is okay. The trick is just to watch them and to question them. Is this really true? You don’t have to believe everything you think. You are not your thoughts. You are you and you can choose new thoughts.
How? If I tell you not to think of a pink elephant, what is the first thing that shows up in your mind? A pink elephant of course. Your mind only understands positives so don’t try to delete negative thoughts. Instead shift your focus to what is both positive and true. The truth will always make you feel lighter and freer.
Forgive yourself. You may have done nothing wrong. If you made mistakes, well, welcome to the human race. Forgiveness doesn’t make wrongs okay. It just means that you’re willing to to release yourself from hurt, anger and resentment. Refusing to forgive is like drinking the poison and hoping the other person will die: only you are hurt when you don’t forgive.
Forgiveness is actually an incredible act of love. There is something very special about it because it raises your vibration to the frequency of unconditional love. The same goes for being kind to yourself in the grieving process. Give yourself good food, good sleep and take care of yourself. We live in an attraction based universe so giving unconditional love to yourself and others is perhaps the most powerful way to bring love to you.
7. Allow Change
Change is part of the inevitable flow and rhythm of life. Perhaps you may not have wanted your relationship to end; but change also means that your suffering and pain won’t last forever either. Change can bring many positive and wonderful things with each turn of the wheel of fate, just often we don’t realise what those gifts are until we have the benefit of hindsight. All things eventually change, pass away and then regenerate. You have a wonderful future to look forward to and a beautiful life yet to live. How will your story turn out?
If you are hurting from a relationship or a loss, I can help you. Come for a chat with me or if I’m unavailable schedule a session at the link below.
I can tell you if you they will come back and if it’s meant to be. If you’re stuck I can help you clear toxic soul mate bonds and help you see your future.
In love and joy,
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