The Ten of Cups is one of my most favourite cards in the Tarot deck. It’s the card that represents the ultimate romantic dream, to be with your soul mate. It’s a symbol of an enduring and blessed love, domestic bliss, joy, peace, and a family and home with our lover. This is the ultimate wish card for so many of us. It’s our heaven on earth when we wake in each other’s arms.
And who wouldn’t want it? To love and to be loved. It seems so simple. Yet finding and keeping love can be one of the most complicated journeys of our lives. Almost everyone asks me about finding “the one”. If so many of us seem to want this happy ending, true and everlasting love, why is it so complicated? For some of us, we’ve waited so long that at this point, it feels just like a whimsy, an impossible dream and like we should give up rather than continue to hope. After too many disappointments, true love just feels like a fairy tale. 
I’m not surprised. In my dating life I’ve been constantly amazed at how many people say they want a relationship or to find “the one”, but when they meet someone genuine they find every reason not to commit, to reject the other person, and to undermine the relationship. Why are we so afraid of love, and so afraid of life working out for a change? So many of us waste our time endlessly on people who don’t deserve us or simply don’t want us and reject those who do. Why?
It feels like in today’s dating world, everyone is searching and window shopping, but no one is buying. There’s an illusion of endless opportunities, prolonged youth, and an overwhelming fear and anxiety in modern life about relationships. It seems so many fear that a relationship is going to be a liability, and forget everything that it could give them. Somehow staying a bachelor seems cool to some men, like they are the lone ranger of love. What they don’t realise is that they’re just going to be alone. So many women are endlessly perfectionistic and unwilling to compromise, looking for the perfect guy and missing their diamond in the rough in the meantime.
Being a psychic or a spiritually minded person doesn’t mean I know everything or get it right in my own life all the time. But one aspect that is very cool is that I get to observe and learn from the guidance about love that comes through from people’s angels and loved ones in Spirit, their higher selves, and even Divinity as they understand it to exist.
The messages that come through above love are so consistent that I’m writing a book of the guidance that I hope will be published one day. There are many lessons, but what seems to be absolutely key is that true love exists, and finding it and keeping it is part of our spiritual journey into self-love, trust, staying open, and keeping the faith. It’s what we learn in finding the strength to dust ourselves off after another heartbreak or rejection and keep holding on. It’s learning what we need to do differently to win. My book will have all the advice, and I will blog much of it in coming days, but the best advice of all so far seems to be to find somebody who is kind to you. For those of us who do want love, let the nice guy or girl finish first for once. Simple but true: love the one who values you. If you can face down your fear of love, you might just find your Ten of Cups.
What do you think, does the fairy tale exist? I’d love to hear your views, so post up on this article in my blog, shoot me an email or come for a chat. I’m here for you when you need an intuitive perspective on your love life. All my love and a thousand blessings,
Caroline Anna
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I’m hurting like hell. I have been more than ready to commit time and time again, to someone who has appeared kind and caring in all ways, and who has then turned on me for no apparent reason. I have turned every situation over and over in my head and my heart, I have meditated, I have mourned, I have done everything I can and nothing seems to change. I am giving up. I seem to have no hope of anything changing, and having hope has only led me into more heartache – another man I have loved who has come to find me disposable. “Find someone who is kind to you.” I don’t think that person exists for me. I have been kind, I have cared, I have given, and I have received heartache in return. Does the fairy tale exist? Maybe for some – not for me.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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Hi I am so sorry to hear this has been your experience so far. I feel there are things you can do to change this energy and turn this situation around for you. I’d love to help you with some coaching and a reading. Please get in touch. x
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I feel for you. I’m in a very similar situation, I know it really hurts when someone treats you like a disposable thing. I also tried everything I could possibly do. I always wanted to believe in fairy tales, but I think it harms me. I fell for “too good to be true” types because of my romantic yearnings and what starts like a fairy tale always ends with a disaster for me, so in future I decided to be more realistic, avoid romantic fantasies and “too good to be true” types like the plague!
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For what I know about love, my two greatest loves had been, my mother, who has been my support, helping hand, nurse when I’m sick, the only person who stand by my side, and now my dauther, who need all those things my mother gave me. And they make me happy and I hope I had make them happy.
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Hard to understand sometimes if the person is not the right person for me or if I just pretend too much........
This limit is so personal and I have been trying to make a decision now 4 years and still stuck.......
Raffaella from Italy
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I’d love to help you get unstuck Raffaella, please get in touch xx
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Happy happy in love!
My story was one I wanted but never expected. A fate intervention if there ever was one. The Internet, a guy who wasn’t who he said. All hell broke loose eventually and has turned into the most amazing love story that I am living today. I am blessed with abundance and my true love!
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If there is tolerance and if an person has values there can be an fairy tale. Many people are weak. Look at Demi Moore – she had an good husband- Bruce Willis and left him for this Kutcher. A big mistake. I do not understand some people- they have everything but they are not tolerant and think that they have endless opportunities.
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Thanks for your comment, I agree there is a lot of truth in the statement that we can be intolerant of one another’s faults and mistakenly think there will be endless opportunities and someone better or more perfect if we just keep looking. There is a real risk in this thinking because we can miss someone wonderful in the process.
With regards to Demi & Ashton, correct me if I’m wrong but I thought she didn’t get together with Ashton until some years after her split with Bruce. Also, we don’t really know what happened in either relationship, simply what is reported in the media which can be misleading or sensationalist. I think it would serve us to focus on improving our own lives first and foremost.
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Thank you for my 10 of Cups. It sounds just like me at the moment. When I need some answers in my own life, confusion can set in and this card sums up just the way I am behaving. I do put up barriers that are hard to put down. It’s true I need to be a bit more accepting where relationships are concerned and not be too picky when someone tries to show me they are attracted. I know that after being widowed 7 years that a new man is on the way soon. I just hope it is the 10 of cups that wins through.Thank you Love’n'Light
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I love your site Lotus Tarot, I would love one too.
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Hi. I do wonder about the staying power of younger people in these trying times. My husband and I are celebrating our golden wedding this year and trust me; we have had our ups and really horrendous downs. But, it’s largely a matter of give and take; probably a little more give (at times) on the female side and hard work. I have got a very good husband who has always been there for me, as I have for him. We have had three children, one of them an epileptic from birth, and another one that has been an addict from a teenager. So as you can see we have had just a few problems. However, both of us have loved our family and have overcome (eventually) most of the problems so that we are still a complete and united unit. I think the reason that we have stayed together for so long is, neither of us has had another partner in any shape or form, we both think that sleeping around is and never has been right, old fashioned I know, so maybe we don’t know what we are missing. And really, are we missing anything that we can’t get from our own relationship? After all, we have love, our children and grandchildren, friendship, companionship, commitment, the same interests. What more can I say, except I am so glad that I am not a young person starting out in these trying times. My heart does go out to them. So much pressure. Blessings to you all.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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Gillian has a lot of wisdom. The old style marriages lasted longer. Divorce wasn’t thought of and neither was many partners before marriage. I have a very happy third marriage to an Indian man who had never been married before. He also was a virgin on marriage. He holds the old fashioned values I didn’t have.
Love and marriage was this unstable painful thing for me until him. Thumbs up to the old fashioned values. It works! I have been on both sides of that fence.
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There’s a lot of hurting women here, never let your happiness in life be dictated by trying to find that perfect bloke as he doesn’t exist until you find him. I’ve known a lot of blokes that have been hurt as well by their partners but nowhere to the number of women.
Life itself shouldn’t & doesn’t evolve around that perfect partner if it did most of us are in trouble & what a sad world it would be, there’s a lot more to life, thank God, it’s called life itself. If you are one of these people who think you can’t be happy in life without that perfect partner it’s going to be a hard, lonely & sad life you have made for yourself.
There are so many people out there that need love, affection & understanding who ain’t your perfect partner , try giving love & understanding to the most deplorable person in your life for starters, trust me it works…….Love Mathew
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Good Morning
I’ve walked a lonely road for a very long time, and recently, I’ve realised that my solitude was of my own making. My own choice. I chose not to open my eyes – or my heart – because I couldn’t let myself believe I deserved love in every aspect of the word. Slowly, this is changing. And yes, the fairytale does exist. “The One” you speak of does exist – though he (or she,depending on your affinities) may come round more than once in your life.
I used to believe that we are all entitled to only one true and absolutely perfect Love. “One per customer”, so to speak. And recently, I’ve found that I was wrong. We are such complex creatures that to believe only one other person in the wold would match us would be to deny the complexity of who we are.
Instead of giving in to the fairytale blindly, but looking forward to a happily ever after with open eyes, true love – true, and absolute bliss that comes from finding someone who knows how to answer the questions your heart does not know how to ask – can find you and keep you for as long as you let it.
Love, light and happiness – and sincerest thanks for sharing your wisdom
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I’ve had a miserable marriage in the past for 20yrs. Now I met a wonderful man who respects and loves me so much. But I’m not so sure if he’s the one. I’ve been seeing him for the last 6 years. I somehow enjoy my single life just with my 5 children who are now teenagers.
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Your reading really nailed me on the head. This proves me how good you’re...really gifted! Painful as it sounds I’ll leave it to the Universe!
‘Wishing You and your loved ones Happy Valentine’
Love & Blessing
Margaret
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Thank you so much Margaret xoxox
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I met my soulmate after praying for a long time. Being a man in this world most of us have been programed to look at the outside rather than the inside. I took a stand and fought for a LOVE I never realized existed. It was hard but without a doubt well worth it.
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I gather you mean in loving yourself; I asked my wife would she marry herself, after I had a long spiritual session that I told her about, & she thought a bit & said yes, “well so would I ‘ I said. Sounds lonely but it’s far from it.
Loving yourself is the most fundamental important thing we could ever do for ourselves.
“Loving unto thy self is as important for our existence as drinking from the eternal waters of life itself, it will never dry up when you eventually find that internal love & eternal waters of one’s self”.....Love Mathew
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Hi Caroline Anna,
I appreciate your work. You are doing a great job. Your words carry meaning, thus, they motivate and help understand things with 3 dimensional view.
I am in love with a girl named “Lata Bafna.” I proposed her when she was 14 and I was 16. We seperated due to some reason. Time reunited us in 2009 and seperated us in 2011 just two months before our marriage. The day I met her I knew we were each others soul-mate.
The way I love her, it is difficult to describe, perhaps, its like explaining the meaning of color to blind. The love between us was divine and intense.
She submitted to her parents views and chose to leave with blindfolded views on things.
I still can’t sleep at night.
I can’t forget her.
It seems life is beautiful but terms and conditions apply.
Quite frankly, I don’t find moonrise, watching a flower, watching flying birds, walking on the grass or a sunrise interesting any more. I do things half heartedly.
Do you think there are chances of our reunion?
Please pray for us. It matters.
Divine love,
Nikhil
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Hi Nikhil, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I will pray for you.
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I am moved beyond words reading your feelings.
Many thanks,
With love,
Nikhil
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Love will find a way. When you love someone, you do. Outside interferences can cause havoc and there is a reason for this. To promote growth in a person. True love has a high spiritual link and purpose to it also!
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Hi, just a moment back I was searching for the information on the same topic and now I am here. So much information, really well executed blog. This is really informative and I will for sure refer my friends the same. Thanks
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Thank you so much x
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I don’t agree that eveyone wants or needs a significant other. It’s never been a priority. Instead I’m quite content with the love my birth family and close circle of friends. I’m a realist and know that not “every pot has a lid”. Some of us are happy and well-adjusted without a partner.
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After two bad marriages,then dating and finding men who were unable to commit. I married my ..finally true love in Bangkok, Thailand. I am Canadian and he is Bombay,India. a friendship, turned relationship, turned marriage. We had some very testing times and come out of it all stronger in love and trust. I was that fearful one before, now very happy I broke through the fear. Dared to love and dared to live. We are middle aged with plans to live in both countries and our world expanded, because we love each other.
It is a social ill in the western world that way too few are committing and loving. I pray we heal and love.
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